“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church; and He is the Savior of the body. Therefore, just as the church is subject to Christ, so let the wives be to their own husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her, that He might sanctify and cleanse her with the washing of water by the word.”   ~Ephesians 5:22-26

What is this verse saying? Are we really to be submissive to our husbands? Surely not! Isn’t God all about equality for all humans? What God is telling us is if we, as woman, cannot submit to our husbands as having the final say in our earthly marital relationships, how will we ever be able to submit to God’s authority? If we have to have the last word every time we disagree with our husbands, how will we ever be accepting of the word of God as the final say?

The answer is simple, we won’t! We will try to pick it apart on the grounds that things are different than they were back in biblical times, we are now living in a woman’s liberation society—an equality for everyone world…right?

In no way can we ever justify rewriting the word of God on the grounds that it’s outdated and old fashioned. God never changes, nor does His word ever expire. It is our fallen nature that allows us to desire that which is not in God’s will. The following statement is going to ruffle some feathers big-time but never the less it’s Biblical fact, like it or not!

Women have all too often been the fall of men!
Eve, the fall of Adam.
Delilah, the fall of Sampson.
Sarah, the fall of Abraham.
Pagan wives, the fall of Solomon.
Tamar, the fall of Judah.

Every time a woman took the role to lead the man, trouble ensued. Every time man surrendered to woman, he faltered and God's will was put after that of his mate. If we want God to come first in our lives, why do we think we need to lead rather than follow? If we truly want our husbands to be, not only our protectors and head of our household but the spiritual leaders of our family, why do we continue to resist God’s perfect plan for men and women?

​“For Adam was formed first, then Eve.”   ~1 Timothy 2:13

The man was created first, then the woman (Gen. 2:7). What exactly was God’s purpose to this order of events? Was His aim to teach a kind of partnership in which manhood and womanhood are equally fit and ordained to lead, if so, wouldn’t it seem that a simultaneous creation of man and woman would have been a clearer indication of this equality? By using a simulations creation God could have very easily avoided this obvious order in creation that put the man in a position of headship, but instead, He chose to create us in this deliberate sequence, and in so doing, communicated this leadership role for the man.

Woman was created from man in order to be a “helper fit for him.” So we must ask this very simple question, is a helper equal to that which is being helped? The answer is obviously, no! If the answer were yes, then the animals that were created to help Adam would have been adequate. However, we know that wasn’t the case because in Genesis 2, verses 19-20 Adam can not find his “helper” among the animals because they were not “fit for him.” So God made woman “from man.”

​And the Lord God said, “It is not good that man should be alone; I will make him a helper comparable to him.”   ~Genesis 2:18

And yes, I’m aware that God Himself is also called our “helper” and we do not lead Him. But the context must decide whether Eve is to “help” as a strong person who aids a weaker one or as one who assists a loving leader. God created a being who was “fit for him,” meaning that she shares his human nature. God teaches us that woman is the “helper” in the sense of a loyal and suitable assistant to a loving leader.

Let’s try to look at this from a very different prospective, from God’s prospective, rather than solely through our competitive mortal interpretation.

Lucifer did the same exact thing. He was created to help God, to assist his loving Creator. But pride and jealously developed in his heart and caused him to try to achieve the same status as God. And that certainly didn’t end well for Satan— but isn’t that exactly what we woman are doing when we rebel against God’s ordained order of authority?

​“How you are fallen from heaven, O Lucifer, son of the morning! How you are cut down to the ground, you who weakened the nations! For you have said in your heart: I will ascend into heaven, I will exalt my throne above the stars of God; I will also sit on the mount of the congregation on the farthest sides of the north; I will ascend above the heights of the clouds, I will be like the Most High.”   ~Isaiah 14:12-14

Just as Lucifer chose to try to raise himself up to be equal with God, so too does this same devil lead us to do this exact thing. God says one thing, the devil says another. Satan wants women to try to raise themselves to be equal or above men in order to achieve his same disobedience to God. Who will you obey . . . Satan or God?

All that is achieved from this never-ending power struggle between man and woman is to create consternation and disagreement, competition and discord! How much easier life would be, and how much happier marriage could be, if we stopped competing and started helping! Ego/pride was the fall of Lucifer, let’s try to learn from that lesson rather then allowing this evil desire to become our undoing as well.

​“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.”   ~Colossians 3:18-19

So how can we ever undo this power struggle—how can we ever escape this misconception and troublesome condition? Ask yourself these questions…do I want to be right or do I want to be happy?—do I want to be obedient to God or to my desire to be in control? 

As soon as we allow our husbands to grow in their God-given role as heads of the family, we will see a depth of love from them like never before!

​“So husbands ought to love their own wives as their own bodies; he who loves his wife loves himself. For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church. For we are members of His body, of His flesh and of His bones. For this reason a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”   ~Ephesians 5:28-31